If I could sum up this last year in one word it would probably be to yield. Already having one kid (who so far in her 4 years of life is somewhat "normal"), I guess I found myself getting a little too comfortable in this parenting gig. Maria had no trouble breastfeeding, was sleeping 12+ hours a night by the time she was about 4 months, walked at 9 months, has an incredible vocabulary for a 4 year old, and way better social skills than I will probably ever have. God has truly blessed us with her. But I say all that to say that it was easy for me to take the focus off the Lord, who gives us every good thing we have, and start to focus more inward than I should.
So from Christmas Eve 2016 up until now every plan, thought, idea I've had about parenting child #2 has pretty much been thrown out the window. Or I guess I should say I've had to yield my plans and ideas to the Lord's. I'll just never forget last year on Christmas Eve Jordan and I sat up in my hospital room and made plans for each day that week. We were trying to move to the Bronx and get things somewhat settled in before bringing home a new baby. Seriously, we wrote down what we felt we needed to accomplish each day that week. Then I go into labor that night and Moses is born at 10:00 AM on Christmas Day and every plan I'd made for the week I had to yield to God's greater plan.
Then suddenly 2 days later it's time for me to go home from the hospital but my baby who was born 7 weeks early cannot. Talk about yielding my plans to the Lord's, I don't think I've ever felt so out of control in my life. We're trying to move to the Bronx, still sleeping in Brooklyn, and I'm leaving Maria every day to go to the hospital to see her brother who she hasn't even laid eyes on yet because they won't allow children in to the NICU. Even though I knew she was in great hands with Gidgie there, she and I both cried daily I think and Jordan hardly had a chance to even be with his son because he's driving back and forth to the Bronx furiously trying to get us moved in to our new place.
We finally get to bring him home on January 7 and we all go to our apartment in the Bronx for the first time to begin life there as a family of 4. Suddenly in February Moses starts spitting up blood and we have a weekend hospital stay while we try to figure out what's wrong with him. Talk about a good scare, your baby eats then sits up to burp and up comes bright red blood. As I sat in the hospital room in a new place where we didn't have any family and didn't really know anyone well yet, it was just me face to face with the Lord and I was once again reminded how much I'm not in control and how I must yield my plans to His.
They wanted me to put Moses on formula right then in the hospital after he's been diagnosed with a milk protein allergy, but being my stubborn self I refuse. So I cut all dairy out of my diet and continue breastfeeding and we're at home and Moses just continues to get worse and worse on the whole sleeping thing. So we start him on a little formula before bed to see if that helps. I'll spare all the little details but fast forward to about 9 months and Moses is on formula only, I'm done breastfeeding, Moses has been co-sleeping, and he still isn't sleeping through the night. Pretty much all things I said I never wanted to do in parenting, we were doing. Pretty much whatever I thought I knew about parenting I realized I didn't. Pretty much every plan I had for the year I must yield to God's plan.
Being in a new place, with a new baby (and very active toddler), trying to survive on just about 3-4 hours of sleep at night, and plant a church has been a challenge. For the most part, I feel like it's been a challenge at which I just repeatedly fail. This mom business is hard stuff and this church planting wife business is hard stuff. However, this little boy who God has blessed us with has stolen my heart! I love my daughter something fierce and am so in awe of her. I cannot wait to see what big plans God has for her life! But there is just nothing like a mother/son relationship. Already at just 1 year old his little personality is starting to shine through. He's definitely all boy - he loves climbing, banging on things and making ALL THE NOISE, and gives the best cuddles and kisses to this momma. Being born premature you just never know what kind of delays or difficulties or problems might come up, but I am so grateful and want to give all glory to God that Moses seems to be healthy and growing and developing as he should.
God is good and has blessed us tremendously this past year. We have THE BEST neighbors in NYC, our support each month has come in every time above what we have expected and God has provided us with the means to live, eat, pay all our bills, both kids have been blessed with good health, and God is continuing to open doors for us to plant Everlasting Church in the Bronx. Maria loves her brother and our family is slowly but surely settling into our neighborhood, and it feels like home. Especially since Moses is a native New Yorker! It's just crazy to me sometimes when I stop and think my son was born in Brooklyn and is growing up in the Bronx. Anyway, 2018 looks to be an exciting year for us in the Bronx so thank you for reading, thank you for praying, thank you for giving, and thank you for being such an encouragement to us. Seriously we would not be where we are without the blessing of our friends and family and ALL THE PRAYERS. Stay tuned to see what God does this new year! Love y'all!
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