Dear Maria,Today is your first full day of pre-k. For our friends back in Texas and Oklahoma let me explain that here in NYC they do ALL DAY pre-k and follow the same schedule as the public schools. So Maria you are going to school every day from 8:30 - 2:50 from now until the end of June. You actually started last week but they were transitional days so you were only there a few hours each day. But today you are there the full time and this mommy is struggling (aka shedding quite a few tears). I know you are only 3 and we still have time with you before you really make your way out into the world, but still this is a bittersweet milestone. Watching you get out of bed in the mornings with anticipation on your face, put on your backpack that is almost as big as you are, and bounce (or hop or skip or run or anything besides just walking) to school makes me so proud and yet fills me with anxiousness at the same time. Leaving you at school is to leave a piece of my heart there too. I have so many thoughts and emotions and it's hard to put it all into words but here are some things I want you to know.
1. Before you are mine, you are the Lord's. Psalm 139 says "For it was You who created my inward parts; You knit me together in my mother's womb." Maria I am so proud to be your mommy and am so thankful that God chose us to be your parents. As much as we love you and will always love you, I can't even begin to imagine how great is the love your Heavenly Father has for you. I am praying you come to know His love personally and one day make the decision to make God your Lord and Savior. You and your brother are two of the most precious gifts we've been given and I'm so glad we can take comfort and find peace in the fact that no matter what happens in the world around us God loves you, knows everything about you, and has a greater plan and purpose for you life than I can even imagine. Please know you are His, and that no matter where you go or what you do He will be there to lead and guide and protect you.
2. Not only are you the Lord's but every child around you is a gift from the Lord too. Genesis 1:27 says "So God created man in His own image." There is a lot of hate, anger, negativity in this world that my mommy heart just wants to shield you from forever but I know that's not possible. So I pray you always remember that each person who crosses your path was made by God, has a purpose from God, and has value. A little kindness towards others can go a long way. You are never too important, busy, or valuable to be kind to others. The children's song I have sang to you countless times is so important in our world today - "red, brown, yellow, black, or white ALL are precious in HIS sight."
3. You teach me new things every day. 1 Tim 4:12 says "Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for the believers in speech, life, love, faith and purity." Whether it's just a smile and wave to random people on the street, to hugs for our neighbors, to inviting people into our home and welcoming them in with genuine joy, your love for life and for others is inspiring and I pray you never lose that. And I pray that I could be more like that. On this third day of school, when most students were sticking pretty close to their parents, we came down the hall to your class and there was a girl already looking for you and calling out your name. She wanted to stand by you, walk with you, sit with you in class. You have such a sweet but outgoing spirit that just draws others to you.
4. You are strong and brave and beautiful. I pray you never let this world make you believe anything less. I love watching you at the park. It doesn't matter how old the other girls are you can go right up to a group and fit right in and start playing. You have no trouble bossing the other kids around, but we'll just say you've got great leadership potential!. Seriously though, there are so many lies out there that women believe and hold on to, myself included. And there will probably come some days that you start to believe these lies. I just read 2 Chronicles 20:15 in my devotional time the other day and the verse has stuck with me. It says "This is what the Lord says: Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast number, for the battle is not yours but God's." Whatever the vast number of things you are facing remember the battle is the Lord's and with HIM you can conquer ANYTHING.
5. Even though you have so much to offer the world, I pray you always remain humble and teachable and malleable in the hands of God. In this day and age of social media there is so much pressure to make your life look like you have things all together and figured out. But I pray you never stop learning, striving, and growing to be who God has created you to be. Philippians 1:6 says "He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." God's still working on you and He always will be. So it's okay to mess up, to not be perfect, to not have everything all figured out. We are all a work in progress!
6. You have a very sensitive heart with big feelings and big emotions and I fully believe that God has big things in store for you because of it. I am not the most sensitive or compassionate person (which is probably why you go running to your Daddy when you are injured) but I love this quality about you. Galatians 6:2 says "Bear one another's burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ." I can already see this verse at work in your life Maria and it's beautiful. You love deeply and feel deeply and while some may look at that negatively I think it's wonderful. This world is full of people who are hurting and suspicious and unwilling to trust anyone and I believe they are just looking for real, genuine, God - given love. I see you being just that type of person. It may cause some pain and heartache along the way but I pray that you are able to keep your sensitive heart that will allow you to feel and sympathize and comfort those who probably need it the most.
7. Trust in the Lord with everything you are and everything you have and you will be just fine. Psalm 18:30 says "God - His way is perfect; the word of the Lord is pure, He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him." God's way really is perfect and it's the best way. This is often one of those "easier said than done" things. The world has a lot of temptation. Things that might look or seem good on the outside. But measure it up again the word of the Lord and He will show you the best way, the perfect way. I struggle almost daily with the fact that we moved you away from family and everything familiar to come to the Bronx. And it took me longer than your Daddy would have liked to come to terms with and agree to moving here. You are my blonde-haired, blue-eyed beauty who will grow up being in the minority around here and it still worries me. But God has confirmed over and over this is where we need to be so we are trusting in Him. Even when you're stubborn (like me!) God is still on the move and He will show you the right path for your life. Even when it gets bumpy and hard you can take refuge in Him!
So here we are, your school journey just beginning and me sitting here watching the clock, praying for you, wondering what you are doing, missing your sweet smile and endless energy. I am believing Isaiah 26:3 for myself and Jeremiah 29:11 for you. God is good, my daughter, and there are many days I question every parenting decision I make and many days I just flat out mess up and drop the parenting ball. But with His endless grace and undeserving mercy He is leading and guiding us both and really more than anything I can't wait to watch you grow and blossom and mature into the person He has especially created you to be. I'm so thankful I get to be a part of it and remember mommy loves you and always will!
Love,
Mommy
No blog post is complete without pictures so here's some of your first few days of school.
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