Faith for the Future

     What is the future of this great city to which God has called my family? Honestly, sometimes it looks so bleak. What do the coming weeks, months, years look like for the United States as we look toward a newly elected president? Is it possible to still have faith for the future? Global pandemic, mask mandates, shelter in place orders, lock downs, shut downs, racial discrimination, millions of acres on fire, hurricanes, police reform, murder hornets, record unemployment, election year divisiveness and just so much hatred - what a year 2020 has been! The world around us often seems to be in shambles, and it is all too easy to turn inward.  More than I care to admit, I am one who likes to stay at home, ignore the news, watch reruns of The Office, lay in my bed eating cereal and tune out the world. Anyone else out there relate? This past spring was hard. Living through the coronavirus pandemic in NYC was hard. Only through the grace of our powerful and almighty God, as well as ALLLLL the prayers and support from our faithful partners, were we able to work and serve and love on our community through the pandemic. Praise God we have made it through! The mental toll, though, remains to be seen. Mostly due to our mental health and also the well being of our children, we traveled back to Oklahoma in July and had the chance to spend time with our families, be out of the city for a bit, and have some room to breathe. Moses still is talking about the fact that he could get up in the morning and go outside at Grammy and Granddad's house to play with no pants on! Haha - it was such a freeing experience for him. It was exactly what we all needed! In fact, God in His infinite wisdom even allowed for a water leak in our building to delay myself and the kids from flying back to NYC and giving us an extra week in Oklahoma! It was great for us, not so much for Jordan who had to come back to an apartment with no water and holes being knocked in the walls of our bedroom. He's the real MVP! In the midst of sweet family time in Oklahoma, water leaks and unknown amounts of damage facing us back in NYC, and just the heaviness of heading back to a city so deeply impacted by COVID, God was speaking to my heart and reminding me that no matter what we are facing, we can have faith for the future.

     During that time in Oklahoma Jordan and I were able to get away together, just the two of us, and try to make some sort of plans for the future....mainly plans for the future of Everlasting Church. We both still feel so strongly that God has called us to the Bronx, made our family to be in the Bronx, and that we are right where we need to be. So I came back from our vacation so pumped! As we made plans to reopen the church, slowly of course, I just knew that there would all of the sudden be some huge increase. We would be overflowing with people and not have room for all who would come. Forget the fact that our church had been shut down for 5 months, life had been on pause, and we had lived through a global pandemic in one of the hardest hit cities in the country. I just knew that people would jump at the chance to come gather together for church, right? So yeah, that was not even close to reality. We started back up with a prayer meeting on Wednesday nights in the middle of August. Then in September we began meeting together on Sundays, incorporating two Sunday morning services to allow plenty of room for social distancing. Now don't get me wrong, we were (and still are!) ecstatic to be meeting in person again and those first several Wednesdays in August full of prayer were such a special time for us! However, the process has been slow....incredibly slow, often painfully slow. People are still afraid. People are still living on edge. Many people are so leery of venturing out and into crowds. And knowing what people have gone though in NYC, I completely understand why there is still an overwhelming sense of fear and anxiety in many. Depression is running rampant. Not only that, but the pandemic has also affected jobs/job security so much that many individuals we know are being worked to the bone and required to be there on certain days/times, often on Sundays. There are battles being waged for the souls of this community. Satan has a stronghold over many. After the shutdown and getting out of the routine of going to church on Sundays the enemy has crept in. He is an enemy who knows our weaknesses, and it's all too easy to listen to the lies of the evil one rather than the truth of the Faithful One. We see the importance of streaming Sunday services online for those who are sick and as a way to stay connected to those who aren't ready to come back yet. But honestly, I wish everyone was ready to come back. Once again, when it comes to God's plan for Everlasting Church, I am going to need an EXTRA dose of faith for the future. 

     Now make no mistake - God has blessed us TREMENDOUSLY this year also. We have such a strong, committed group of beautiful souls who God has brought together to form Everlasting Church and who are ready to be back and jump in with both feet. The people God has allowed us to cross paths with and who have come on board with our vision and mission to "be a family forever, loving God and loving people" are an incredible blessing. Their willingness to serve in the midst of a global pandemic every single week (currently once a month) by putting together and handing out "blessing bags" is helping Everlasting Church make the gospel known here in Pelham Parkway, the Bronx, and to the ends of the earth. In fact, in the midst of this COVID-19 crisis, as a result of our blessing bag ministry in the community, God has brought in new faces to our faith family! Not only do we have an amazing church family here in the Bronx, but we also have such a strong committed group of partners from all over the United States who stand in the gap for us, pray for us, and faithfully support us. You all have jumped on board and gone ALL IN ever since March when we began asking for help with our blessing bags. Thank you for being an incredible blessing and encouragement. All of you who have contributed to this ministry, both near and far, have continually blown me away by your generosity. It's so humbling sometimes. You all who have continued to give, even in the midst of your own financial challenges have breathed life and breath into our weary souls. You all who continue to lift us up in prayer, you are literally lifting us up and helping carry us through. It is such an honor and joy to watch God work through His people. I just long for everyone to truly experience what it is to be a part of a church family. Especially after a year such as this, we need each other and we need the Lord! As I see how God has brought us through the challenges and difficulties of this year I am reminded that I can have faith for the future because of all He's done in the past. 

     We were finally able to start back to school in person the beginning of October. Maria started 2nd grade and Moses began his schooling career and entered pre-k. Both of them only go part of the week and are at home the rest of the week. But they both ask EVERY SINGLE DAY to go to school in person. We love and respect both of their schools and the teachers/administrators who are there day in and day out. So to say the kids were excited is an understatement! To say I needed faith for the future is also an understatement. This is really about the time that my anxiety tried to get the best of me. Moment of truth - I have gone through periods of anxiety/panic attacks off and on since starting this whole church planting journey - it is a process y'all. Anyway, I was waking up in the mornings again with a feeling of panic, heaviness, and inexplicable fear. Of course I was praying and seeking God's word but to be honest, I had no earthly idea if this would prove to be the right choice for them. The debate on whether or not children should be allowed back in the schools at all got heated. As many parents vocalized their thoughts and opinions I began to wonder if I was just sending my kid in as a guinea pig to see the coronavirus explode and hope and pray they make it out alive. Jordan and I went back and forth on whether or not we should subject our kids to such an unsafe environment. Many parents just came right out and made it clear that if you were opting to send your kids back to school you were making the wrong choice. Then on top of all that, the DOE comes out with their new requirement that all kids going in to the school will be randomly subjected to COVID testing at the school, without the parent present, and if you do not consent to it your child can be forced to become 100% remote and not be allowed back into the building. As I feel like my rights as a parent in the NYC public school system are slowly dissipating, as I listen to news briefings from our elected officials about how we are making our way back to a "shelter in place"or shutdown mandate, and as I worry about how my highly sensitive child is struggling to make sense of it all and how it will affect her long term if we have to quarantine again, I struggle with grasping the idea that we can have faith for the future. Raising kids in this world is just so dang overwhelming sometimes. But I know they are not my kids to begin with anyway. I'm so thankful God saw fit to allow me and Jordan to be able to steward these little human lives. While I have no clue what the future holds for these little ones I do know who holds their future, and that gives me all the hope in the world. I can have faith for their future because I know it lies in the hands of our Almighty God, and He will work all things out for our good AND His glory. The process to get there might be tough, and often does not look like I would choose it to look, but it is worth it.   

     However. in the midst of so many questions, not a lot of answers, fears of the unknown and what-ifs, in-person school some days and remote schooling other days, lots of tears and frustrations trying to figure it all out, God has confirmed again and again that He is faithful and I can trust Him with the future. One way He does that for me is in the little, day to day activities and moments. He is such a perfect Heavenly Father to give such sweet reminders of His love on a regular basis. Over the last few months we have been able to have quite a few "normal" moments! There have been many trips back to the Bronx Zoo and now, finally, everything is open again! We also got to celebrate Labor Day at our favorite place - Orchard Beach - with friends. Our family has started going camping each summer and we were able to continue that tradition. Also, my personal favorite fall activity still took place - apple picking! We were able to celebrate another year of life with our favorite girl, do some trick-or-treating, and most recently start getting ready for Christmas - the most wonderful time of the year!

 

      I'll end with this.....even something as simple as a story about school from my 7 year old daughter has reminded me time and time again these last few weeks that we can have faith for the future. One day as we were walking home Maria shared with me about a boy in her class who was quite upset and crying. She said the teachers knew about it, other kids saw it, and no one said anything. He was not hurt or sick or anything, she just simply told me he was having a rough day. Maria sits closest to him, so she said she tried her best to show him kindness and offer him words of comfort. In these days of social distancing and limited human contact, she was trying to cheer him up and be a friend on what was obviously a bad day. Now, I know this might not seem like much, and I'm sure my daughter has already forgotten about it, but God has used that simple act of kindness Maria showed to her friend at school to speak volumes to my anxious heart. I don't know what kind of policies or procedures our new president will put in place. I don't know what New York City is going to look like in the coming months and years as we face the effects of COVID. I don't know what else the NYC DOE is going to come up with to put parents in uncomfortable situations. I don't know what the world is going to look like for Christians in the future and what kinds of Biblical values and morals will be put on the line. There is so much I just don't know. Most of the time I am planning for the next day at about 11:00 pm the night before. However, one thing I do know is that if my daughter continues to grow up and look for opportunities to show kindness and the love of Jesus to those around her, she's going to be alright. If, with the Lord's help, these two little humans I am raising grow up to think about others and the needs of those around them rather than just their own selfish desires, this world will continue to improve. In fact, if we can all remember to spread a little kindness, show a little compassion, offer people a little more love and grace, and allow Jesus to shine a little brighter, then you bet we can have faith for the future. The world is desperately looking for something real, something solid to grasp on to. The days of watching the news are about over for me, it is impossible to trust anything they say or do. I just had a conversation this past week with a neighbor about what is really true and what the Bible says about eternity. A great many are confused and deceived. So moms and dads, grandmas and grandpas, aunts and uncles, and any other types of caregivers out there - let's strive to raise up a generation of kids who are kind, who look out for the needs of those around them, who love their neighbors AS MUCH as they love themselves, and who seek to be the hands and feet of Jesus. The world will see that Jesus is real through our love. There are so many of you out there who are doing just that, I see so many who are doing just that. And it is what helps give me great faith for the future.