A Time for Everything

    

     Moses' face in the above picture is ALL OF US these days. Playgrounds chained up (that's what was happening in the background), schools shut down, churches not gathering, basketball courts silenced, the sound of children's laughter in the street all but gone from our neighborhood, and the people who are out are covered in all sorts of face masks, goggles, gas masks, and whatever else you can think of....this is "NYC on Pause" as the governor called it. How much things can change over the course of just a matter of weeks. Life in the Bronx and NYC is so different, eerie, quiet, and abnormal. I remember just 3 short years ago as we were settling in to our new home in the Bronx and adjusting to life as a family of 4 (with a baby who was a terrible sleeper I might add) calling my husband on a regular basis crying, distraught, and so frustrated with the amount of noise all around me! Forget about trying to get a baby to nap in a small 2 bedroom apartment where his bed is right by all of the living room windows. We had subway trains rattling by every couple of minutes, ambulance and police sirens blaring constantly, cars honking their horns as people try to beat the morning rush out the door or find that perfect parking spot in the evening after work, and even though we are on the 6th floor of our building the sound of voices of all sorts of varying emotions (to put it nicely) carry up through the windows and into our home. It was definitely one of the hardest adjustments I had coming from the country, or what used to be country, of Owasso, Oklahoma to the Bronx. Now that very thing I think is what I am missing as one of the most "normal" parts of daily life here. In fact, I guess I'm not the only one missing the sounds of NYC because just this weekend as I was finishing up this blog I got an email from the New York Public Library that they have put an album out on their website and Spotify called "Missing Sounds of New York"! You can go to https://www.nypl.org/blog/2020/05/01/missing-sounds-of-new-york and take a listen if you're needing some sounds of the city, and you're welcome. 😁 I'm probably heading over to take a listen as I go to sleep tonight. Anyway, as we have all been isolated, quarantined, pushed in doors, life has become so very quiet and not at all as it should be. There is a heaviness and fear hanging over my neighborhood, my home, my people that if I choose to dwell on for too long becomes almost too much to bear. I was just talking recently with a neighbor about the people he knows personally who are fleeing New York. So many are hurting. Most everyone knows someone or some family who has been affected by this virus. The loss of life has been unfathomable. Hundreds of people are entering eternity by the day.  

    

     We are living through history, and if only for my own sake I want to remember as much as I can about this time. So this part might be uninteresting for a lot of you, but these are some details of what I want to remember. We had the first confirmed case of the coronavirus on March 1 in Manhattan. The second confirmed case was the one I remember that started to cause more of a concern, and when we started to hear more about Covid-19. A lawyer up in New Rochelle (city just north of the Bronx) had tested positive on March 3 and the very next day 9 PEOPLE linked to the lawyer tested positive for the virus. By March 7 Governor Cuomo declared a state of emergency here as there were 89 confirmed cases, 70 of them just north of us in the New Rochelle area. The virus quickly exploded from here and began rapidly changing life in the city. The official announcement that NYC schools would close was made on March 15. Governor Cuomo issued the "shelter in place" or "NYS on Pause" mandate to go into effect on March 22 and all non-essential workers should work from home. We are to practice "social distancing" and keep at least 6 ft between us and anyone else outside of our immediate family. It is mandated that face masks or some sort of covering be worn when outside. By March 26 the United States had officially become the country with the most Covid-19 cases and as of early April about 1/3 of the cases in the country were in New York state. NYC quickly became the epicenter of the US coronavirus outbreak. Hospitals were filled past the breaking point, field hospitals were set up in Central Park, sidewalk morgues were placed on city streets to try and get a handle on all the bodies, a US navy medical ship (USNS Comfort) was sent to Manhattan to help provide more hospital beds, ventilators were running low, PPE for healthcare workers quickly dwindled, and the plea for help was issued for health care workers from all over the US to come to NYC to help combat this rapidly spreading and deadly virus. To date there are over 310,000 cases of the virus statewide and we have lost 19,000 lives. These are grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, siblings, sons, daughters, precious lives in God's sight that takes my breath away when I stop and think about it. How much longer Lord do we have to endure this?
     That's a very quick summary and I could go into much more detail about all that has happened over the last month and a half but I really just wanted to hit some key points. I know that life across the country has been turned upside down for all of us, however when you are living in the epicenter of the country's COVID-19 outbreak and that place is also New York City there are just going to be some unique challenges - mentally, physically, emotionally, etc that are present. This has been a hard 6 or so weeks, really hard. BUT there have also been some things that have been good, really good! As I think about the roller coaster we have been on I'm reminded of Ecclesiastes 3 in which King Solomon writes about how 

(1)"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

(2) a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,

(3) a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build

(4) a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance

(5) a time to scatter stones and a time to gather, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing

(6) a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away

(7) a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak

(8) a time to love and a time to hate. a time for war and a time for peace."

These 8 verses cover some of the very worst parts of life here on earth, as well as some of the very best parts of life here on earth. It's amazing really when you stop and think about it....the Bible is so applicable to our lives even today! So here is just a little about how this COVID-19 outbreak has affected me personally along with what I've observed in our city as seen through the lens of Ecclesiastes 3.

     When I look at these verses and see words such as die, uproot, kill, tear down, weep, mourn, scatter, refrain from embracing, search, throw away, tear, silent, hate, and war, I can't help but think of the very worst parts of what people have endured over the last month and a half. I mentioned earlier the death toll we've seen across our state. The loss of life to this virus has been so hard to even think about. Hundreds of lives entering eternity each day. For a few weeks nearly every time I got on Facebook I would see someone talking about a loved one who had passed away. Then if we stop and think about not just the death toll but also the fact that there is a vast majority who have been uprooted, scattered, torn down, thrown away, or whatever the case may be. The amount of homeless and/or in need people that I have noticed in just my little neighborhood of 30,000 people has increased dramatically. Those I have been passing in the streets who are clearly trying to find their hope, peace, and purpose in anything and everything the world offers has increased dramatically. You can see fear and worry so often on faces, but also just plain emptiness by looking into the eyes of many people on the streets. So not only has it affected the homeless and most vulnerable population but also so many families. Whether it be parents working from home, kids not able to socialize, adults dealing with job loss, scarcity of food, hour or more long lines we have to wait in just to get necessities, prescription medication not available, or routines that have been shaken and completely flipped upside down these words all describe situations and feelings many of us are facing.

     Clearly the effects of the coronavirus are not just physical but mental as well. I have seen this played out in my own life. Can we talk for just a moment about weeping and mourning? I cannot tell you the amount of weeping and mourning that has been taking place in my home. We are all 4 physically healthy and well and I definitely thank God daily for that, but recently I've really been not too sure about our emotional health. My daughter has always been one with big emotions and feelings (anyone who has been around her more than 5 minutes probably knows this!) but she has been more sad than usual and during the first month while being stuck at home she talked about how she would "never get to see her family in Oklahoma again". I have also noticed myself randomly waking some mornings with anxiety and a heaviness that just hangs over my head and weighs me down and threatens to ruin everything in my path...IF I let it. Maria is such a social little lady and thrives off of interaction with others so the phrase given in verse 5 of Ecclesiastes that says "a time to refrain from embracing" is clearly taking its toll on her. She loves people passionately which is one of the reasons she has been the greatest little church planter out of all of us! Not being around others is so hard for her to comprehend. Finally, I have to mention hate and war. I hate everything about this virus and the havoc it has wreaked on this city and myself personally. I hate that so often this virus brings out the worst in people. I have been at the stores in my neighborhood and witnessed people lashing out in anger at others, at situations, or whatever else happens to be in their path at that time. There was a big police presence on our street just a couple days ago as a huge fight broke out. People are clearly uneasy, fearful, worried. Personally I hate the fact that my mind is filled with fear every time I step out of my apartment. I hate that nagging little voice in the back of my head that says what if this is the time? What if I just want to take my kids out to get some sunshine and fresh air and this is the time the virus finds us? We are clearly in a war. It is a war first and foremost for the souls of people yes, but also a war for our minds, our families, our priorities, our way of life. It has been a battle y'all, and it's not over yet. Will we let this virus consume us or will we choose to "lift our eyes up to the heavens, where our help comes from" as we read in Psalm 121?

     I want to be one who lifts my eyes up to the heavens! So enough of the negative, let's talk about the positive. These verses from Ecclesiastes remind us there is a time to be born, to plant, to heal and build, to laugh and dance, a time to gather and embrace, a time to give up searching, a time to mend and speak, a time to love and have peace. In general most of us have had our scheduled activities pretty much put on hold. I know for our family there is no rushing to swimming lessons, or kickboxing classes, or the gym on the weekends. There is no early morning rush to get out the door, then get home from school/work and do homework, eat, and go to bed. Our lives have been forced to slow down and I think this is a good thing. When I think about birth and planting things, I think about new life. What kind of new life will come from this global pandemic? What does God want to do in our communities, our families, or in YOUR own personal life during this time where we have been forced to pause? What are these days going to make of us? For me personally my prayer every morning has been along the lines of Isaiah 40:29 - "He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless." I've been reminded of how much I cannot do life in my own strength. I CANNOT do this home school thing with Maria, at least not on my own. There are way too many emotions and feelings and attitudes. I CANNOT handle the amount of death and suffering and loss all around me on my own. I CANNOT handle being trapped inside a 900 sq ft apartment for days on end with two very hyper active kids on my own. So on the days I feel like the breath has been knocked out of me if I don't do anything else but just whisper this prayer in the morning....not by my strength but yours Lord....He gives what we need to make it through the day. Also, if I look outside my own self y'all let me tell you, there are churches all around NYC, including ours, that are out serving their communities and doing their part to spread the love of Christ and I'm SO PUMPED to see what God will bring about as a result of all this work. Please join us in praying for revival here in the city! God can do something big as a result of all this chaos and I believe He is ready to....please pray people would awaken to God and turn to Him. There are so many out here planting good seeds. So many are giving and helping and thinking about the needs of others. I believe God can grow these seeds and bring about a great harvest! Speaking of planting, that's also been one of our quarantine activities as a family that I don't think we would have stopped and taken time for if not for this extended time at home. We have literally planted vegetables and it's been a great learning experience for the kids, I highly recommend it! But man it takes some patience doesn't it? Both literally and figuratively. One of my big prayers over the last 6 months or so has been for patience and wisdom with Maria, she is a sensitive young lady and has such big feelings and I have become so unsure how to handle it all. I was praying about that before this global pandemic. Now I've got ALL THE TIME in the world to put this prayer into practice as I learn how to talk to her, lead her, and guide her. God knows I fail daily as I'm working with her. It's a process. One that takes much cultivating from the Lord. But we are working on it and not giving up! Same with the seeds we've planted. It takes day after day of watering and putting them in the sunlight and learning the art of patience before the harvest is ready. We believe the end result will be worth it though! I've included some pics of the Sauceda Family Farm, stay tuned to see how it turns out.
     Ecclesiastes also mentions a time for healing, building, mending. We will heal and NYC will rebuild life post coronavirus. It has been a privilege to watch New Yorkers and their resiliency. The city will open again, people will go back to their jobs and do what needs to be done to make it. But man, what if our time to heal and build and mend starts now? Let's start with our families and children. Let's heal, build, and mend those relationships. God designed and created the family unit and now we have ample amounts of time together.....let's not waste it! Although we have not done it every single day, my goal is to have Bible lessons with the kids daily and Scripture memory verses that we work on together every week. Let's play with our kids and show them how special and valuable and loved they are. I believe the time for laughter and dancing can be right now. We have played some awesome family games together with SO MUCH laughing. I highly recommend charades, it is so much fun, especially with kids (or a husband like Jordan). Maria has enjoyed getting into kids zumba on Youtube. Even just impromptu pillow fights, wrestling matches, and games like hide and go seek or relay races have really helped our family have fun together.

 

     Finally I want to focus in on a time to give up searching and a time to keep. I'm sure you're familiar with the phrase "if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere." Maybe it's amplified coming from Oklahoma but the underlying current running through the streets and many people of NYC seems to be all about making it to the top and being the best. People are constantly searching....searching for the best schools, the best jobs, the best neighborhoods to live in, and the list goes on and on. I'm guilty of this in church planting as well as just in mom life. We must have the best meeting space, the best worship music, the best kids worship experience, or I must be the best home school mom with the best schedule, and crafts, and learning system in place. There's so much pressure to search for all the ways to be the best and be at the top. Now I'm not saying striving for success is a bad thing at all! But I am praying that during this quarantine I would learn to stop searching for any of these things to fulfill me and give me purpose. Let's use this quarantine time to "give up searching" for things that don't last or the things of this world that are fading away and let's keep or hold on to what God says is important. What does God say is important? Well a big one is LOVE. I pray that now would be the time for us to learn to love more. Now is the time to learn to "love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength and then "love our neighbors as ourselves". If we focus in on these two greatest commandments it will surely usher PEACE in to our lives, our families, our communities like never before. I've got a long way to go and a lot to work on but I just have to believe that God wants to use this time where we are all on pause to change us, shape us, and mold us into different people, better than we were before. My prayer is that we would come out of this season of trials and difficulties more like Jesus. That's just who He is. He can take even the worst of circumstances and use it for the good of those who love Him.